Finally, A Way To Cut The Strings With Your Ex This Valentine's

Guys, I'm sure we've all got that one that... didn't get away soon enough. You know what I mean. That girl that told your sister six months after having a baby that she was fat. The guy that never, ever, ever let you see his phone. The one that decided to get with that person you "don't need to worry about".

Or, you know, whatever yours happens to be. I'm not here to judge.

Well, not you. But them? Yes. I can do it silently, though.

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Finally, though, there's a way for you to permanently.... sever all ties with them, and do some good for the world while you're at it. Check this out.

An animal shelter in New Jersey called Homeward Bound Pet Adoption is offering, for a $50 donation, they'll name a feral cat after your ex - then NEUTER it. Well. They'll also spay female cats. But the real appeal is getting to name a cat after a guy you hate, and being able to say you just had his BABY-MAKERS lopped off.

Now if it's not clear, or if you don't know, stray animals are huge problems all over the country. It's hard to stop the spread of feral animals without trap and neuter programs like this. They basically go to neighborhoods, trap the animals, fix em, and then put them back where they found them. So hopefully, the population still thrives, but...doesn't grow.

The flyer they posted online says, "Neuter Your Ex for Valentine's Day"...... "because some things shouldn't breed." Hilarious. Some say a vasectomy is no laughing matter, but I beg to differ. It’s a snippety-snippet of a good time! Sometimes, life just hands you a set of “empty sacks” to deal with. A vasectomy is the perfect solution for those who no longer want to play the game of “hide and seed."

Okay. I'll stop. But if you need more 'fixing' jokes, I've got 'em.

Snippingly yours,
Behka