Celebrate the International Day of Failure With Schadenfreude!

Well, today is the International Day of Failure.  So why not celebrate it by reading about the absolute FAILURE of others?  We'll bask in their failure and feel good about ourselves. Let's start with this one.  Brandon Ware, a 20-year-old Daytona Beach, Florida man, got busted for reckless driving after he started doing donuts on live TV.    Ware saw news crews covering Hurricane Matthew and decided to get some air time.  So he started doing burnouts in his truck on the deserted streets. He then did "multiple donuts in a reckless manner and at a high rate of speed at the base of the bridge while news crews warned of the approaching storm.  As an added bonus, when he was taken into custody he was wearing a t-shirt that said, “F— Speeding Tickets".And here’s a guy who can vote in a swing state.

Then there's Elandra Sledge and Jaime Sailinis, both 18, who were arrested in Michigan after they terrified several other teens while dressed as clowns. The two dressed as clowns, jumped out of a car, and chased after a pair of petrified 14-year-olds. The victims ran to a local police station. Officers quickly located the costumed suspects (Cops described as “morons” and “idiots” in a press release).  During the booking process the duo “stated they thought it was funny to terrorize unsuspecting pedestrians.” The two clowns were charged with disorderly conduct, a misdemeanor, and booked into the Macomb County, Michigan Jail. They were driven to jail in a tiny police car. Despite the clown epidemic, the scariest thing in Michigan is still the drinking water.

Or how about this one: Krystal S. Miller, 24, who tried to elude police officers then got stuck in a traffic jam. Florida police observed Miller driving 70 miles per hour when she passed another car in a no passing zone. When they turned on their lights, she tried to make a getaway, but ran into a traffic jam. When officers arrested her, they found she had a suspended license and a couple of bags of cocaine in her purse. She was arrested on multiple charges. Bail was set at $8,000. Or she calls it, a KILO.

Okay, how about one more:  Doraisy Martinez, 39, a Florida woman, who got caught digging up $20,000 worth of drug money in her backyard, and tried to claim she was burying an urn.  Federal agents asked Martinez what she was up to in the backyard and she told them she was "digging a hole to bury an urn, in accordance with her religious beliefs."  They didn't buy the story and did a little digging of their own and found $20,000 in cash that was hidden there. The Feds were tipped off to the burial of the drug money from phone conversations Martinez had with an inmate. I can’t believe she claimed she was digging up an urn. She’s gonna get cremated in court.  And I would never bury drug money in my backyard. With my luck, one of the neighborhood mutts would dig it up and eat it.

Schadenfreudenly yours,
Behka