Sedalia Snack Squad Takes On: Russia
Well, it's time for another edition of everyone's favorite taste test: the Sedalia Snack Squad.Today we are exploring the vastness that is mother Russia. It could be terrible, could be amazing, could be nothing. Let's get to it. LESS YACKIN, MORE SNACKIN!
Shashlik Potato Chips.
Behka: That smell. It smells like the Thanksgiving turkey the day after when you take it out of the fridge. This has the texture of styrofoam. Russia, why do you hate me so much? It is Putin's fault? I don't get it. I just don't get it.
Husbando: Smells very similar to the congealed meat one. *puzzled look* They're flavored chips, but I can't really pick out the flavor.
Jenn: Like salty Styrofoam. Why do so many countries enjoy eating Styrofoam?
Ryan: Quite good! They're very soft with an almost sweet flavor.
Salmon and Cheese Husks.
Behka: I don't really get a smell. Hmm. I don't know that I've had anything like this before. I also don't think I've put cheese on salmon before. It's... fine? I wish it was a little less crunchy. It's an odd feeling, crunchy salmon.
Husbando: This one is going to be the worst. Two things I hate, salmon and Swiss cheese. *Smells, gags* I don't know if I can get past the smell. No, no. No. No. No. That tastes horrible. Nasty fish and stinky cheese. Oh, god. *drinks soda* I could be more descriptive, but it would be graphic. That's nasty.
Jenn: If you have been having problems chewing, do not try these! The taste is ok though.
Ryan: I didn't think cheese flavor would pair badly with anything. I was wrong. This is a terrible combination of flavors.
Holodets and Horseradish Husks.
Behka: You know what it smells like... It smells like the other one. The one that has that after Thanksgiving smell. I guess that's what congealed meat smells like. Oh, good god, no. This is gross. Oh god, what have I done. What have I brought to my life with this terrible idea. "Sign up for Universal Yums, they said. It'll be fun, they said.." What a mistake this is.
Husbando: This will probably be my favorite thing in the box. Mmm, It smells like meat. It's not as strong as the description would lead you to believe, but you can taste the horseradish and rye bread.
Jenn: What is with all the husks?!?!?!?!?!?!
Ryan: One bite is all it took to realize this is nasty. Its like a really crisp, bitter version of melba toast. Not a keeper.
Korovka Fairy Tale Roll Cake.
Behka: It smells like a Zinger. The chocolate is exactly the same. It's just like the Russian version of Little Debbie. I like that. I don't get much other than chocolate, though. Thank you for not torturing me with a secret fish or meat element.
Husbando: The packaging is hard to open. It smells like a chocodile, for those old enough to remember those. Tastes exactly like a Twinkie to me. A chocolate Twinkie.
Ryan: Tastes like a bitter sponge cake. It might be good with some sugar on it. I give it a 7/10.
Behka: That smells familiar. I can't place it, but it's nice. This easily takes up your whole mouth. Kinda dry. But it's nice and sweet and crumbly and I could really see this being perfect with a hot cup of tea.
Husbando: It smells amazing. *nodding* Mmm. *full mouth* It's very good. Very crumbly. I would like to find a recipe and make this. It's not what you would think of as a traditional gingerbread, but it's delicious. I can taste the spices, the honey.. it's good.
Jenn: I was scared of the name but it was yummy!
Behka: Baked milk? So... they put milk in the oven? Why? Then it's just... hot milk. Does it change in consistency or something? Anyway. This reminds me of Keebler cookies. You know, those round ones with the stripes? That's pleasant. Thank you for not punishing me with terrible chocolate, Russia.
Husbando: Is this just one big cookie? What a cute little impression on the bottom. It's good shortbread. It's not Scottish shortbread, but it's good. It's shortbread with chocolate. Its good. This would be a great dessert.
Jenn: I LIKED THESE A LOT! They remind me of the L’Petit Ecoliare cookies I like to eat.
Red October Krepysh.
Behka: Where's Sean Connery when I need him? Some of these snacks, I get why he wanted to defect to Alec Baldwin. Anyway, hopefully this is good. Yeah, I get that Payday feel. But Paydays are way better. This is... fine. I'm not offended or triggered by it. But I'm not interested in eating any more of it.
Husbando: Oh, you're probably going to like this. It smells like a Payday bar. It's like the inside of a Payday bar, that's what it tastes like.
Ryan: A bit softer than caramel with a mellower flavor. Not bad.
Grapefruit Chocolate Bar.
Behka: I like dark chocolate. This is thick. A little hard to chew. It kind of reminds me of those chocolate squares, the Ghirardelli? The kind that have the little bits of filling inside? That's nice. Not an everyday thing, though.
Husbando: I am going to specify now that I'm going to hate this. Yes, I am going to have a preconceived idea of this. It has two things I don't care for in it, dark chocolate and grapefruit. *makes face* Oh, my god. That's gross. Oh, that's overwhelming dark chocolate with a squirt of grapefruit. I can't think of something more gross.
Jenn: It was weird but good?
Ryan: Surprisingly good! I don't normally like grapefruit but when mixed with chocolate, its tasty.
Grilled Potatoes with Shallots.
Behka: OH GOD. So oniony smelling. It's like...so hard. It takes a good thirty seconds for you to be able to break these down. The aftertaste is nice, though. It is indeed very oniony. I don't get potatoes, though. Those are pretty good. I like those best so far.
Husbando: That's a shallot riding a motorcycle. In Russia, shallots ride motorcycles. Woooo, oh it's a very strong onion smell. Very firm. They almost taste like a FunYun, only better. I really like them. I can eat bags of those.
Jenn: These are ok. Pretty crunchy. Fun Fact about me: I thought for a long time that Shallots were seafood.
Ryan: No complaints. These were really good. Probably better than a standard Lay's potato chip.
Behka: There is something similar to this in our candy. Something with marshmallow covered in chocolate. The kind of almost bitter taste of a blackcurrant really cuts the marshmallow, so it's not too sweet. Nice, but I'm not a huge fan of blackcurrant.
Husbando: Mmmmmmmm. Mixed feelings on the smell. It smells good, but mixed feelings. I'm not generally one to like marshmallow things, but this has a really good flavor. The texture is a little different to American marshmallows. It's very good, I couldn't eat a lot of that, though. I really like blackcurrant, though.
Jenn: This was unexpectedly good!
Ryan: Like a really fruity marshmallow pie. I approve!
Behka: This is really hard. It's not quite hard candy, but it's got a shell. Very lemony. Chewy. That's kinda nice, actually. Confusing, but nice. I don't really get caramel, though. Give me a regular ol' caramel anytime.
Husbando: Icing, jelly, and caramel. I wonder if it's going to be sweet. Excuse me, not icing, FONDANT. Okay. I thought it was going to be soft. It's lemony. It tastes familiar. There's an American candy that tastes like this, but I can't place it. I don't get jam or caramel. I don't know where that is supposed to be. Oooooh, these are faux caramels, so they don't have milk.
Ryan: I was so full by the time these rolled around that I didn't try them.
Forest Fairy Honey Peanut Delight.
Behka: I should like this. I don't. I like peanuts, dark chocolate, and honey. Why don't I like this? I have no idea. I don't want to eat the other bite. No thank you. *spits it out in a tissue*
Husbando: *silence* It's good... it's unusual. Peanuts, semi sweet dark chocolate, honey, and I kinda like it. Yeah... I don't know what else to say. It's interesting.
Ryan: See above.
Juicy Light Peach and Apricot Jellies.
Behka: *chews* *Shakes head* No. No no no no nononononononononono. *spits it out* No. IS THIS REVENGE FOR THE EIGHTIES, RUSSIA? We're sorry for the Gorbachev jokes! Wait............. no, this is YOUR candy. You're doing this to yourselves. What kind of self hatred issues are the Russians dealing with? Why would you think this a treat?
Husbando: That makes me really excited to eat this. I kinda like it. And you know me, I don't like peaches. It just tastes like a chocolate dipped jelly apricot. I could eat a bag of those. Those were pretty good.
Behka: Overall, a pretty meh box. My favorite was the shallot motorcycle chips. Least favorite were the chocolate apricots. Weirdest was the salmon and cheese chips.
Husbando: My favorite thing was the Holodots and Horseradish. Mmm, meat jelly. Least favorite? The fish and cheese that's been left in the sun too long and put in someone's sweat sock. Weirdest was the shallot and potato wheat snack. It was unusual. It was good, it was just unusual.
Jenn: Milk Biscuit! I ate all mine so quick. Weirdest: THE HUSKS!!!! Why?!?!?!?!?
Ryan: My favorite this month was the Korovka Baked Milk Biscuits. The worst by far were the Salmon and cheese husks. The weirdest snack was probably the Tula Pryanik, but in a good way! For October, the most surprising was the Grapefruit Chocolate Bar. I would definitely snack on this again.
Do you think you'd enjoy some of these snacks? What do you think of our Russian box? Let me know what you think!