A Day In The Life Of A Morning Radio Host

Radio people are a unique breed. Morning radio people are even more..........'unique'. So, I thought I'd take you through my process.

I decided to do a "day in the life" where I documented my thoughts in a day on the show. Well, most of them anyway. Here goes nothin!

4:20 Eugh.

4:23 EEEEUUUUUUGH.

4:31 I am never in a good mood first thing in the morning. Ever.

4:34 Okay. Seriously. I need coffee today.

4:35 Why does that website always think that guy that hasn't worked here for years is the first one trying to login? I'm here EVERY DAY. REMEMBER ME.

4:38 I wish coffee could just come to me instead of me... having to make it.

4:41 I hope I did that right. Matt usually makes the coffee.

4:45 Transmitter reading. Why can I never write first thing in the morning?

4:53 Blerg. Not much news today. What am I going to talk about for four hours?!

4:58 I'm so gassy. Why do I burp like a sailor in the mornings? It's not very ladylike. I hope I don't do it on the air......

5:05 FOCUS. I'm going in fifteen directions!

5:17 Uh oh. Lemon bar cookies in the breakroom. Okay, that's confusing. They're on the "communal break room table", which normally means "you can eat this", but... it has initials on it. I better leave them alone just in case.

5:25 "We Didn't Start the Fire" is almost FIVE minutes long?! That's aaaages!

5:30 Okay. I've got material. I just need to plan it out.

5:40 Alright. I think I'm ready. I just need a little breather before six.

5:45 I NEED KLEENEX.

5:49 Rockwell is ridiculous. Nobody is watching you, idiot. The only reason anybody still cares about this song is because of Michael.

5:51 I should water Steve. I don't think I watered my plant yesterday.

5:55 Facebook is crazy. Why do I always get sucked into those posts where you have to click seventeen different pictures to get to a non story? I'm such a pleeb.

5:58 Okay, last song. Hope I don't sound like a crazy person today.

6:02. I need new headphones. These seem to cut out on the right side a lot.

6:05 I hope Facebook likes my blog post today.

6:08 Don't forget, the repairman is coming to look at the dryer today.

6:09 Better check my voicemail.

6:10 It was for the sales department.

6:12 That verse of "Manic Monday" bugs the crap out of me. "Oh of all nights why did my lover have to pick last night to get down/Doesn't matter that I have to feed the both of us, employment's down" Um, what? You don't HAVE to "get down" whenever he commands it. Consent is a part of any healthy relationship, after all. AND, he's not even working?! And he knows you have to get to work in the morning to support his broke ass, but he wants to keep you up late anyway? What an inconsiderate, freeloading jerk. And you shouldn't put up with his BS, Bangle Lady.

6:15 Okay, Free. Why do we have leave before they raise the parking rate? You're a famous rock star. You've got money. You can pay for parking. That's what's really "All Right Now".

6:18 Oh no, a guy killed his mom? How sad. Well, allegedly. I don't KNOW that he's guilty. I wish my mom was still around. Okay, no, no. No. We're not going down this road this early in the morning. Let's take a lap.

6:22 Better. Oh hey, three post clicks on my blog so far. I hope they like it.

6:25 Man, my hair is a bird's nest of curly grossness today.

6:29 I should check VCreative* and see if I have any production to do. Just a couple of date extensions. I'll take of that real quick.

6:29 Okay, so they needed to be extended by ONE DAY? What the heck.

6:31 "Word Up" by Cameo. My ex hated this song. I'm not sure why.

6:33 Awww, my cousin Casey's little baby is so cute. This is what Facebook SHOULD be for. That and dog pictures.

6:35 Uh oh. Only thirty seconds under. Better cut a song.

6:40 Back to Facebook. My friend Mac got a new cat. They just had two cats die of old age, how sad. I'm glad they're moving on, though. He's cute! Hello, Rufus!

6:41 Tracy, that's not a freggin spaceship. Those are clouds. I need to get off Facebook.

6:43 A minute and a half left of the Fine Young Cannibals. Better get my story ready.

6:48 That was not my best break. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Do better, me!

6:50 Time to get some random facts. 96% of homes in the U.S. have a bottle of ketchup. I guess that makes sense. But wait... who are those 4% who Don't?

6:57 Oooh, a request! Sly and the Family Stone? Can do.

7:02 Every day, I am thankful for those three little dots at the top right of someone's Facebook post. Eliminate that hate for me, thanks.

7:05 My face is burning hot. I better go get one of those wipes and wash my face. Dang rosacea. Denny used to kid me about my red cheeks.

7:07 Don't forget to call Stephanie.

7:11 How morbid. Photos of celebrities in their caskets? Really? Why is this showing up on my feed? I mean, I know I'm weird, but... do I really have THAT kind of morbid curiosity? .................Okay. I'll look. Just a couple clicks.

7:13 That's two minutes of my life I'll never get back.

7:22 I have no idea what any of these Bountiful Bunny clues mean. Dang, Jenn, you're so much smarter than me. Am I stupid? Well, maybe my mind just isn't geared for this kind of thing.

7:25 My second blog post didn't publish. I need to fix that. Stupid website bugs.

7:27 Thank you again, three little dots in the right hand corner.

7:32 Five blog post clicks. Missed the mark today, I guess.

7:34 Sheryl Crow, why you gotta be so ambiguous? Do you mean a 45 record, 45 SPF, or a 45 handgun? Well, let's be real. Probably not a gun. Probably a record or sunscreen.

7:36 Okay, that was funny, I don't care who you are. SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAAAAY!

7:37 Time to call Stephanie. I hope her phone line is clear.

7:45 Alright, she's edited down. Got my classic rock minute ready, good to go.

7:50 I better come up with a trivia question. Good prizes today, Disney on Ice and Monster Trucks.

7:53 Wow, we have a lot of tickets. They're all for this weekend. I better try to give away a few sets.

7:56 I love ELO. Why did I never get any of their records?

8:01 Good, kept it brief. Boss would be proud.

8:03 Two hours down, two to go.

8:08 CUTE DOG PICTURES.

8:13 Boss just told me about a new contest. Sounds cool! Coming next week.

8:21 Almost trivia time! I hope my question isn't too hard.

8:23 Man, I'm hungry. Why am I always hungry an hour before lunch, but never AT lunch time?

8:24 Oh, Food Bank advisory council meeting tomorrow. I better tell somebody so I can change my lunch time.

8:36 Wow, that question worked! Lots of winners today. That always makes me happy.

8:40 I better get the bones of my schedule sorted for tomorrow.

8:42 Sweet like a CHICA CHERRY COLA!

8:47 What does this rude French guy look like? There are like, seven photos that could be him. Google images, you've let me down.

8:48 Break time.

8:52 15 seconds over this hour. I guess nobody's gonna cry about that. I'll try to even out next hour.

8:57 Oh right, I gotta call a dude about the kitchen sink. Meagan and Laney SWEAR they didn't rinse their rice down the sink, but the slow drainage says otherwise. I hope it's not too expensive to deal with.

9:01 So Hungry. Watch, I'll be fine at ten.

9:03 Everclear have a tour this summer with Marcy Playground and Local H. That is peak high school music for me.... now it's "nostalgia" AND "classic rock". I'm so old.

9:07 Dude. Seriously, you're my friend and all, but I'm not going to buy anything from your weird side business. I think I bought ONE thing from an MLM at least three years ago and I still haven't run out.

9:09 I will never hear "Rock Me Amadeus" by Falco. I will always hear "Dr Zaius, Dr Zaius" from The Simpsons. Always.

9:11 I have a very clear memory in about 2000/2001 of being in the Doctor's office when "All Star" by Smashmouth came on the overhead radio. These two girls who were about three or four years younger than me started instantly singing it as they walked out, complete with hand gestures. I think of that every time I hear this song.

9:22 Not hungry anymore. Typical.

9:27 Thank you again, three little dots.

9:28 Aaaah, Fleetwood Mac. How I love you. They had so many good singles.

9:30 Phone call! They wanted to know if we'll give away any more monster truck tickets. We'll see, the others are gonna give some away today.

9:33 1:30 free time in this hour. Perfect for my last break, my closer. I'd better pre-record that so I get the timing right.

9:36 Messed that up. Better do it again.

9:39 One second under. Perfect!

9:40 OMG! I almost forgot to call the manager at Menards for his weekly advertisement. Lucky I didn't forget!

9:46 Uh oh, Dryer Repair Guy called. He's at the door, I need to let Husbando know so he can let him in!

9:48 Okay, he's getting up. I'd better clean up my studio and get ready to go.

So there you have it, another day another dollar!

Morningly yours,
Behka