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Five Reasons You Can Eat Your Kids’ Halloween Candy Without Guilt [OPINION]


Okay, folks.  Halloween has come and gone.  Let’s be real here: you know and I know that the candy is SUPPOSED to be for the kids.  But come on, now.  Just as well as I’m sitting here I know that you’re not going to let that candy go to waste.  And I know it can be hard to look at those sweet, confused little faces when those kids ask, “Where’s my candy?” 

That Halloween candy is probably somewhere safe, right?  Like up in a high cabinet, on top of the fridge, or hidden somewhere so that the kids can’t get at it any second that your back is turned.  That’s only common sense.  Of course, being “secured” may mean that the candy isn’t accessible to the kids…but it is to you.

Beating that temptation can be hard, and it’s alright if you don’t get through it without a fun size chocolate or two.  But you may have to justify yourself to yourself OR your kids.  So here are some good excuses…I mean, reasons, that I’ll be using.

1. You’re just making sure they don’t rot their teeth.

You’re concerned about their dental health.  It’s pretty commonly accepted that sugar rots your teeth.  It may be an old wives tale, but THEY don’t know that.  Just tell them that you’re helping them stay dentally healthy.  And it’s true, in a way.

2. You’re keeping the caffeine and sugar energy to a minimum in young bodies. 

Kids have a lot of energy.  That energy often gets spent so quickly, and you don’t want their little bodies to crash and get a sugar headache.  You want them to have good, important energy that keeps them nourished.  You’re thinking of their HEALTH.  Just tell them that you’re trying to grow them big and strong and that if they eat too much caffeine or sugar, they’ll grow an extra ear.  That might not be true, but can they prove it ISN’T?

3. You’re helping them watch their weight. 

So much of the best candy contains fat, carbohydrates, and natural and artificial sugars.  You wouldn’t want them to get a note like that one lady in North Dakota sent out, right?  No kid wants a heart attack at 6 and a half.  Well, hmm.  That part might be a bit too far.  Just tell them about the ear thing again.

4. You’re rewarding yourself for a few weeks of hard work in preparation.

These kids must know that their costumes didn’t get on their bodies magically, right?  Somebody had to either buy the materials or the actual costume, and then help them get in it.  And, someone had to take them out trick or treating or out to the Halloween party.  They can’t expect those services for free!  That candy is your cut of the action.  If they want to go Trick or Treating, they’d better expect a finder’s fee.  And that finder’s fee is as many Snickers bars as you want.  It’s teaching them a valuable lesson in life!  After all, they wouldn’t want you to refuse their needed help, right?  If they want that ride to the Trunk or Treat, they’d better pony up and accept that you get a cut of the candy.

5. Because you’re the parent and you said so.

I think that’s really all that needs to be said, at the end of the day.  Tough luck, kids.  Your parents are in charge and what they say goes.  That’s all my mom and dad said to me.  Might as well be the last reason you give anyway.  The fact that you actually took the time to give a point by point reasoning for this thing was more than enough.

And heck, if you do it right, they might not even know you’ve eaten some of it.  Either way, happy candy eating.

Halloweenly yours,

Best of 92.3 Bob FM

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