What, a cat's not good enough for you?  The little mutt you've got is boring you?  Well, I learned something new today, although I don't know if it's really something I would suggest you actually do.  Apparently Missouri's laws are all about pet ownership, and you can actually own one of each of these in our state (with a permit).

1.  Bobcat.

Thinkstock

You can actually have one of several different types of big cats, but... no thanks.  Can you imagine the biscuits that thing could make on your stomach? Cat scratches are bad enough as it is, without an actual flesh wound.

2.  Wolf.

Thinkstock

Sure, why not.  Let's turn our home into a Howie Mandel movie.

3.  Bear.

Thinkstock

Did you just completely ignore Steven Colbert for years? Bears are godless killing machines.

4.  Non Human Primates. 

Thinkstock

Monkeys are cute. I'll give you that.  But it's all fun and games, and you get attached to the monkey, and then BAM,  it gets herpes.  From you. I saw it on Dr K's Exotic Animal ER.

5.  Venomous Snakes. 

Getty Images/iStockphoto

Nope.  No.  I don't even know what kind of snake that is, and I do not want to know. But if you're a crazy person, I guess you can keep a snake that could easily kill you.

 A person commits the offense of keeping a dangerous wild animal if he or she keeps any lion, tiger, leopard, ocelot, jaguar, cheetah, margay, mountain lion, Canada lynx, bobcat, jaguarundi, hyena, wolf, bear, nonhuman primate, coyote, any deadly, dangerous, or poisonous reptile, or any deadly or dangerous reptile over eight feet long, in any place other than a properly maintained zoological park, circus, scientific, or educational institution, research laboratory, veterinary hospital, or animal refuge, unless he or she has registered such animals with the local law enforcement agency in the county in which the animal is kept.  - V. A. M. S. 578.023

So there you have it.  You can have a crazy animal that can kill you as a pet. I'll stick with cats, thanks.

Sanely yours,

Behka